A Sinking Feeling
by SpinalBaby
Summary: Enjolras gets a little too drunk. Grantaire is already too drunk. They both make a decision they regret but all ends up well.


5 Page

By the fifth beer Enjolras was more than just a little tipsy. The Amis were all at Jehan's house for a little get together and as always Grantaire had brought the booze. He was surprised to find Enjolras drinking at all, but Combeferre reasoned that it was because he was stressed about an upcoming protest on campus.

"I'm not stressed! I just need to think… Of something good to say…" It took Enjolras longer to formulate his sentences, but Grantaire was also too drunk to notice.

"Don't worry, my dearest Apollo, I know you'll come up with the best of best speeches, don't fret." He was sitting beside Enjolras on the couch, smirking as Enjolras rested his head on Grantaire's shoulder. He sighed deeply.

"I just need a little break from it all s'all…" He mumbled.

Combeferre was cuddled up with his boyfriend on one of Jehan's oversized chairs.

"Okay, okay, I have a better one. I'm going to tell you that one where you fall from heaven, okay?" Combeferre asked, kissing Courfeyrac on the cheek. Jehan was giggling like crazy as he watched the inebriated couple.

"No, Ferre, that's the one iI/i told you. That's why we're together!" Courfeyrac groaned.

Bahorel was debating with Feuilly about the best way to fold a fan while everyone else was hung up on an overzealous drunk Marius' story about a blond girl he'd taken a bunch of secret snapchats of at the local Starbucks.

"In the words of Shakespeare, the greatest poet besides Jehan, 'Baby got back'!" He proclaimed.

Everyone was so busy with their own adventures that no one noticed as Grantaire and Enjolras slipped away to the bedroom, the blond leaning heavily on the brunette's shoulder. He opened the door, watching as Enjolras sat down on the edge of the bed, smiling up at Grantaire.

"I promise you this is the best form of stress relief I have ever encountered, Apollo, but are you sure?" Grantaire leaned down, giving Enjolras a deep, sensual kiss. The saint's lips tasted of beer. Oh god, he'd wanted him forever.

"Mhm," Enjolras mumbled between kisses. He panted as they both lie back onto the bed. Grantaire unbuttoned Enjolras' shirt trailing his tongue down the soft and smooth pale skin. He could tell Enjolras was unused to the attention, judging from the cute gasps of pleasure, especially as he made his way lower, sliding his jeans and boxers off. What he didn't imagine, was that the blond was a virgin because there was no way anyone would agree to have drunk sex with Grantaire if it was their first time. Enjolras was special, Grantaire thought, so it must have been with someone equally as special.

He smirked as he produced a condom out of his back pocket, unzipping his own pants, "Safety first."

Enjolras's cheeks were flushed as he laughed a little, "I never took you as the responsible type." He was nervous, but he deserved to let loose every once in a while. And from what he gathered, this was the best way possible.

"You wound me," Grantaire teased as he put it on, positioning himself between Enjolras' legs, pulling them up so that his ankles rested on Grantaire's shoulders. He listened to Enjolras' embarrassed squeak as he was pulled into the position, but continued, rubbing his dick against the blond's ass. "Are you ready?" Grantaire asked sweetly, pressing the tip against his entrance.

"Yes," Enjolras replied breathlessly. Even drunk the whole situation seemed quite romantic. That was until he felt Grantaire ease into his body. He looked up to see Grantaire's eyes closed as he enjoyed the moment. Fuck, it hurt… but Grantaire… he couldn't just stop now, not after leading Grantaire this far.

"Oh god Apollo, you're so tight," he murmured, drawing his hips back before thrusting forward. Enjolras gripped the sheets, trying not to cry out in pain. He should have thought about this- shouldn't have rushed in. Oh god, he was an idiot, such a fool… He was tense and trembling, but he tried to hide his true feelings from Grantaire, sucking it up as he started to thrust. Each one brought more pain than the last. He felt as if his body was being ripped apart.

"Grantaire- Grantaire, I'm not so sure anymore-" Enjolras breathed, tears welling up in his eyes. Grantaire seemed blissfully unaware that Enjolras had said anything. The tears began to fall as he pleaded with Grantaire, hoping he'd notice, but the brunette was lost in pleasure. It was all he'd ever wanted.

Suddenly Grantaire snapped out of it as he heard a loud broken sob from his partner. He quickly opened his eyes looking down at Enjolras, who was crying and shaking. Oh no- what had he done?

"Grantaire please stop! It hurts!" he wailed, body trembling. He could feel warm and wet blood dripping down his thighs and he already felt sick to his stomach. As he cried again, he suddenly felt Grantaire stop, and looked up at him with eyes clouded in tears.

"Oh my god, Enjolras- I'm so sorry- I didn't-" Grantaire had enough sense to pull out, backing off of Enjolras, feeling panic rising in his chest as he saw the blood on the sheets. "Oh god- Enjolras I'm sorry- I didn't notice-" What could he even say? The blond looked horrified as he grabbed the sheets, wrapping them around his shoulders as he tried to get off the bed. He nearly tripped, and Grantaire could tell he could hardly walk, but he managed to escape the room quite fast, running down the hall.

Courfeyrac had gotten up to go to the bathroom and had been walking down the same hall when Enjolras slammed into him in a blind panic, "Enj?"

"Courfeyrac," Enjolras was crying. He wasn't wearing anything, just wrapped up in a sheet that had a few small blood stains on it, face flush and hair messy. It took Courfeyrac's recovering brain a few moments to fully register what might have happened before he called out to Combeferre frantically, who ran over. He looked almost instantly sober when he saw Enjolras leaning against Courfeyrac.

"We're going, right now." he said, scooping his younger friend into his arms, "Courfeyrac, tell them we're leaving." He went into full on serious mode as he payed no attention to everyone's confused expressions as he carried Enjolras out of the apartment. Courfeyrac quickly said goodbye to everyone and told them he had no idea what had happened, but that he'd text them later about it and make sure Enjolras was all right.

...

"Enjolras, what happened?" Combeferre asked his friend as he sat at his hospital bedside, rubbing circles into the back on his hand with his thumb. It was about six hours or so after the whole ordeal and after a lot of paperwork, waiting, and a full exam, they sat here, Courfeyrac nearby, looking out the window. He didn't know what to say. The doctors had told Enjolras that he was going to be fine, and that there was only a little tearing, but the blond was still very distant.

"I made a mistake." Enjolras replied, not wanting to look up, lest he meet Combeferre's gaze. As comforting as he was trying to be, he couldn't help but be nervous. After all, this was all his fault for being an idiot and rushing into something he would have never done sober.

"A mistake? Enjolras, you're not making any sense." Combeferre shook his head. He wanted to help.

"Grantaire and I… we were drunk and I was stressed about that stupid speech… I thought it would help out, but it hurt- Grantaire didn't know- but- I panicked, I should have never done it…"

Combeferre's eyes widened, and he glanced back to Courfeyrac, who shared his surprise. It lasted only momentarily on both off their faces however, since neither wanted to offend Enjolras. Combeferre was suddenly filled with violent anger against Grantaire for hurting his friend, but he pushed them away, knowing that this was really no one's fault, but a terrible mistake.

"Enjolras. This is not your fault. Don't think that for even a minute, okay?" Combeferre looked at him, "You were both drunk, that's not consenting to anything, okay?" Combeferre was desperate to reassure his friend.

"Wait- Enj-" Courfeyrac walked over to his friend, "Was that you first time?" Courfeyrac looked concerned, he was sure it was but… still… Enjolras was the type to try to save himself for the right person. He knew Enjolras had feelings for Grantaire, but he still wasn't positive of the nature of those feelings.

Enjolras nodded pitifully. Combeferre frowned at Courfeyrac, why did he have to bring that up?

"Enjolras, just stay calm," Combeferre squeezed his hand lightly. "We're right here." He gave the blond a soft smile.

…

Grantaire was still at Jehan's apartment, hiding away in the bathroom. Everyone was discussing Enjolras, Combeferre, and Courfeyrac's sudden departure in the living room but Jehan was sitting on the bathroom counter, talking to Grantaire who lie in the bathtub, his face buried in his hands.

"Jehan! I fucked up!" He tried to hide his tears, but he knew Jehan already knew he was crying. "I raped him…"

Jehan frowned, "Grantaire… There really isn't much I can say… But you need to talk to him. As soon as he's ready to." He got off the counter, sitting on the edge of the bathtub and running a hand through Grantaire's black curls, "Just try and relax a little. I know it's not good, but you shouldn't get worked up before you can do anything about it."

"I know… I feel so awful… I hope he's alright." Grantaire sniffled.

"If there's one word I can think of to describe Enjolras it's strong." Jehan gave him a reassuring smile.

"Yeah… he is…" Grantaire nodded. "He is."

…

It was a whole week before Grantaire worked up the courage to go talk to Enjolras. He wasn't sure which would be worse- if Combeferre or Courfeyrac opened the door first, or if Enjolras opened it first. He decided Enjolras would be worse when Combeferre ended up opening the door. He gave him an irritated look, but let him in.

"I'm sorry… but I have to talk to Enjolras. I'll never forgive myself if I don't apologize." Grantaire gave Combeferre a pleading look.

"I know." He sighed deeply. "I'll tell him you're here. He's working on something in his room."

"Thank you." Grantaire replied, grateful Combeferre understood. A minute later Enjolras came out of his room, inviting Grantaire in. He pointedly avoided looking him in the eyes, staring at the ground.

When Grantaire came in Enjolras shut the door behind him, "Grantaire- I…"

"Look, Enjolras, I know you hate me now, but I had to come to apologize. I'm a jackass, and I know it, but I am really, really sorry."

"Hate you?" Enjolras actually looked up, "God, no, Grantaire- I'm the one who's sorry… I shouldn't have put you through that, if I had just thought things out a little more. I've never… had sex before… I didn't know what to expect, but I shouldn't have rushed into it." He looked just as bad as Grantaire, consumed with guilt over the incident.

"What- you… you were a virgin?" Grantaire seemed most baffled by that than anything else at first, "Why would you… waste that on me?"

Enjolras blinked, "What do you mean? Grantaire… I wouldn't have slept with you if I… didn't like you. Grantaire. I've had a crush on you for a while now…" He blushed. "So I'm really sorry I put you through any of this."

"Apollo," Grantaire finally re-adopted his lighter hearted tone, "It's not your fault at all. Can I… hug you?"

Enjolras looked at Grantaire, suddenly feeling very silly, "Sure."

Grantaire wrapped his arms around Enjolras, pulling him tightly against his chest. "Apollo, I have loved you since the moment I met you and I feel like a horrible human being for the other night, and I promise that will never, ever happen again. But after hearing that… I want to ask you, would you consider going on a date with me? Wherever you want- and I promise, no alcohol or sex."

"A… date?" Enjolras asked, feeling much more at ease in the tight hug. "You're not upset with me… and you like me?"

"Exactly." Grantaire nodded, letting Enjolras go. "You don't have to answer now. I really just came to apologize."

Enjolras smiled sheepishly, nodding a little, "No… I'd like that."

"Really?" Grantaire stared at him in awe.

"Yes, really."

"You're sure?" Grantaire asked, earning an annoyed look from Enjolras.

"I'm sure. Now go away before I change my mind. I have speech to write." Enjolras practically pushed Grantaire out of his room. "Let's meet for coffee next Monday, okay?"

"If that is your command than I shall obey, dearest Apollo." He gave a playful bow as he left. Enjolras liked him and more importantly was alright. Grantaire smiled as he left, not caring how confused Combeferre looked. He had a good feeling about what the future might hold for them. A very good feeling.


End file.
